If you’re like most women, it’s a LOT. You spend all this time making yourself look sexy and attractive.

All this time presenting yourself as fun, interesting, worldly, and not needy in the slightest. You spend all this time showing him just how good you’d be for him… How amazing his future would be if he chose you as the woman by his side…

And it doesn’t work. It never works. WHY? Why do you work so hard… And the guy in your life just takes you for granted, if he even notices you at all? It’s probably because he’s immature, right? He can’t recognize a good thing until it’s gone. Or maybe… It’s because you’ve been doing all the work for him.

If He Doesn’t Work for Your Relationship, He Won’t Value It

Fact:

What men value most are those things they have to work hard to get.

Hand a man a college diploma, and he won’t value it as much as if he’d had to put in years of study and effort to earn it.

Hand a man the perfect girlfriend, and he won’t value her as much as if he’d had to woo her for weeks just to get her to go out with him. This is why playing hard to get works.

But, as you’ve probably already noticed…

There’s a BIG problem with playing hard to get. That strategy stops working once he’s actually got you.

Something happens when guys decide they’ve won you. It’s almost like they think, “Game over.” Their minds are already on their next challenge. What is going on?!

And how can you stop it from wrecking your relationship?

It’s Not Just You—ALL Women Experience This

(That’s Why They Ask for Help)

Many women give up on love. They never let themselves get too close to a man, for fear of scaring him off. But other women try a different approach. They get help. Relationship coach James Bauer is one of the people they turn to.

He noticed that many clients were coming to him, complaining about guys who were blowing hot and cold. Everything would be going great, and then it was like…

Something would change overnight.

A guy who’d been warm, affectionate and interested would suddenly become distant. He’d no longer have any time for her. He wouldn’t smile in greeting. He’d stop making eye contact. His kisses were brusque. Wanting to help his clients, James investigated.

And what he discovered made sense of everything. He knew why these men were backing away. He knew what they needed … and what they weren’t getting.

It didn’t come down to anything wrong with these women.

Rather, it all came down to something he called “The Hero Instinct.”

Most Women Do Something that Drives Men Away…

Without Ever Realizing It

One of the most wonderful things about women is how naturally caring they are.

Look at you. You’re always there for your guy. You look after him. You always make time for him. You’d do anything for him.

You never realize that, in the process…

You’re actually taking something away from him. You’re taking away his purpose.

You see, he wants to be your hero. He doesn’t want you to be his hero.

Men love heroes. Look at how many grown men are still fascinated by Marvel comics and superhero movies.

Every man on Earth, from the time he was a boy, dreamed of growing up to be the kind of hero who would save the world—and get the girl at the same time.

Most men don’t get to indulge their world-saving side in their 9-5 jobs.

Circumstances don’t call for them to rip off their corporate ties and spring into action, revealing their superman side. Maybe they can’t save the world. But they can still get the girl.

Getting the girl is a worthy challenge for an ordinary guy with the heart of a superhero. It takes superhuman confidence. Superhuman charm. Superhuman immunity to pain. Now, all he needs to find is…

A girl who needs a hero. Do You Need a Hero? Let me guess… That’s not you.

You’re strong. You’re independent. You can fix a leaky faucet. You can drive a stick shift. You can take care of yourself. You’re never going to make that Jerry Maguire mistake of looking for a man to complete you.

Instead, you have a lot to offer a man. You’re generous. Kind. Loving. Giving to a fault. All you want is to find a man who’s willing to receive all you have to give.

And that’s why heroes aren’t showing up in your life. That’s why you’ve ended up with so many takers instead. Guys who take everything you have and leave you high and dry. If you want a hero, then you need to advertise for one. Here’s how.

3 Ways You Can Invite a Hero into Your Life, Starting Today

1. Ask a guy for help.

Ask him for advice on buying a new computer. Ask him to listen to that weird rattling sound that’s started up in your car. Ask him to reach something on the top shelf. Then thank him warmly, with a great big smile of appreciation. No, that doesn’t make you needy. It makes you a woman with space for a man in her life.

2. Take pleasure in male company.

Guys love women who appreciate men for just being men. So what if his apartment is a shrine to sports? So what if he spends hours on his fantasy football team? So what if his idea of a clean shirt is the one with the fewest wrinkles? He’s a guy. It’s okay. You don’t need him to be more like you, because you’ve got the feminine side of the gender equation covered.

3. Let him earn your respect.

Superheroes love challenges. They don’t want to be given a gold medal just for showing up. They don’t want your love handed to them on a plate. They want to earn it. There’s one thing they crave even more than a woman’s eternal enduring love: A challenge. So give him opportunities to prove himself. You don’t have to do the work of winning him over. Sit back, relax, and allow him the pleasure of winning your admiration.

Keep Learning

If that sounds like fun to you, click here to watch a video presentation about this relationship enhancement tool. It’s something you can learn once, but then use for the rest of your life.

References for this Article

The post He Doesn’t REALLY Want The Perfect Woman, He Wants These 3 Things From YOU Instead appeared first on LoveControl.

And impressed she was. He was attentive, respectful, gentle and engaged.

But then, just when she decided she’d fallen for him…poof. He withdrew.

Now their roles had reversed. Overnight, she was working to get his attention.

Why do men do that? Why do men shut women out?

Certainly, not every man pulls away when things start to heat up, but a lot of guys do.

Enough, in fact, that this is a common question among the women I work with as a dating and relationship coach.

Guys come on strong, pursuing with enough passion to make Romeo jealous, but when they win the attention of their Juliet, it’s game over.

What gives?

Look, dating’s a tough gig. Yes, it’s fun and exciting, but it’s also nerve-racking.

At first, it’s all about the chase. He’s trying to get your attention, and you’re deciding whether or not he’s worth it.

That’s the time in any dating relationship when both people are so wrapped up in the pursuit that they’re hardly giving any thought to what will come next.

And then, the pursuit changes.

You decide you’re into the guy, and he, having won your attention, has to begin the process of considering an actual, serious relationship. Does he want one?

More than likely he does, or he wouldn’t have been chasing you!

But, wanting it and being fearless enough to really go after it are two different things.

So, what’s a girl to do?

Well, first I’ll tell you what you should NOT do.

Avoid These Two Common Mistakes

First, don’t assume it’s about you. It almost certainly isn’t. He was into you before you decided you were into him. He’s still into you, now.

Second, don’t pressure him. This is where a lot of the advice columns get it wrong. They often say you should play “hard to get” or some version of it.

Instead, let him know you’re interested in him.

Do it in ways that don’t smother or push. (Text messages every hour, on the hour, for example, might be over-doing it.)

Why do men pull away and shut women out at this phase of a relationship? Because he’s a little nervous. He’s nervous about giving up the freedom of choice.

Don’t change, be the woman he fell in love with

During the pursuit phase, it’s desire that motivates him. As soon as he realizes this could be something real, his motivation shifts.

Suddenly he’s thinking about the many options he will give up, and the lifestyle changes he’s committing to.

(A lot of guys have an irrational fear that all their activities will all become feminized if they commit to a woman.)

When he’s acting this way, you don’t have to change what you’re doing. When he acts distant, your best bet is to appear calm and comfortable.

Be the woman he fell in love with (carefree, confident, and available).

Don’t freak out—that’ll freak him out. Don’t demand his attention—that’ll send him running. And don’t launch into a panic that he’s seen some fatal flaw in you.

Because that thought process will put you in a negative frame of mind, and that’s anything but attractive.

Always Assume The Best

He pursued you for the first few dates, hoping you’d decide you were into him. He’s gone out on a limb before.

Now it’s your turn. Give him enough space to feel comfortable while still letting him know you’re interested.

Any guy who truly wants a mature, real relationship will come around as soon as he sees there’s nothing there to be afraid of.

And any guy who’s not ready for a real relationship wasn’t the catch you thought he was, anyway!

Now, before you settle into “waiting mode,” I’d like to share a shortcut that can pull him back and rekindle his passionate pursuit at lightening speed.

There’s nothing wrong with being patient, but if you want to pour a little miracle grow on your relationship, here’s what I recommend you do next…

When He Shuts You Out, Try This…

Survey research shows men would rather be respected than loved. It’s wired into our DNA.

We feel an irrational need to earn your respect as an avenue to becoming worthy of your love.

Now look, as a male dating coach working primarily with women, I know how crazy this must sound to you. But it’s true.

It’s one of the few “secrets” that really can give you an unfair advantage with men.

Here’s how this knowledge can help.

If you channel a man’s deep desire to earn your respect in the right ways, he will bend over backward for you.

And the more he does this, the easier it becomes for him to see himself in a long-term committed relationship with you.

And his favorite way to earn your respect?

He wants to be heroic. He wants to solve problems for you, come to your aid, and prove himself useful.

It’s not very romantic, but it’s woven into the fabric of his DNA.

And that’s why I’ve put together a video explaining this phenomenon further so you can tap into his hero instinct anytime you want, even if he’s currently asking for space.

Click here now to make this method yours before you forget and miss this opportunity to transform your luck with men.

References for this article

The post Why Men Pull Away…And How You Can Tap Into His Deep Desire For Commitment appeared first on LoveControl.

When that happens, you know it’s not because of what they said or did. It’s some kind of signal you read in their facial expression, vocal tone, or body language.

Surprisingly, researchers have found that we are quite accurate with these instantaneous assessments about other people.

The simple fact is, you know things about a person the second you meet them. And you react to these unspoken signals automatically.

If you’re good at reading people, you may not find it surprising to learn that men and women notice different kinds of signals when interacting with a potential mate.

To skip ahead to the video that explains the unusual pattern of signals men look for in a romantic relationship, just follow this link.

It explains the hidden signal that either repels a man or makes him feel irresistibly attracted to you.

Otherwise, keep reading to learn about a particular signal you’re broadcasting to men all the time (whether you know it or not).

It’s probably not what you would expect.

You see, there’s a specific kind of body language men simply can’t ignore.

It’s a signal that can spark romantic feelings. Or it can repel him, depending on what he’s reading from your nonverbal cues.

Would you like to know what it is?

Men Are Extremely Sensitive to Something in Your Body Language That You Would Never Expect.

Women often ask me for the words to make a man want you. But the secret to make someone fall in love with you goes a bit deeper.

In fact, your ability to broadcast the right non-verbal message makes all the difference when it comes to attracting the kind of man you want.

If you’ve been attracting attention from guys who fail to connect with you on a deep, emotional level, I may be able to show you why.

You’re probably sending out just one very confusing signal…without even realizing it.

With the wrong signal, you end up with this:

• Attention from the wrong kind of guys. The ones you aren’t interested in.
• Initial attraction that later fades with the one guy you really wanted to attract.
• A slow and painful death for the attraction and passion in your existing relationship.

But with a slight adjustment, you could be sending the right signal all the time. And you’d end up getting results more like this:

• Passion that intensifies the longer you’re together
• A guy who clearly feels protective of you
• A deep feeling of private exclusivity as he lets you into his inner world

The difference can be dramatic. And it all comes down to this one signal I’m about to show you.

In order to explain this signal, think of yourself as a radio tower.

You are constantly broadcasting a message to the men in your life. And there’s one “channel” he can’t tune out.

That’s because men have emotional “antennas” designed specifically to detect this one kind of signal.

Ready to find out which signal I’m talking about? Ok, here it is. He reads your nonverbal cues to find out where you “rank him” compared with other men.

He reads your body language to see how he measures up in your eyes. Does she respect me? Or am I just her play thing?

Does she look up to me in some ways? Does she value me compared to other men? Or is she just settling?

Why are men so sensitive to this one signal?

Because, oddly enough, this signal tells him how you compare him to other men. So it influences how he feels about himself whenever he’s around you.

And it’s amazing how much this one signal affects his emotions.

You see, in relationships, people don’t tell us what we really want to know. We have to listen to what’s written between the lines.

This kind of “listening” determines how we feel about each person we meet. And when it comes to romantic relationships, it tells us far more than spoken words.

Now tell me this. Which man would you rather commit to for life?

A man who compliments your beauty but seems to have difficulty keeping his eyes off other women? Or a man who is reserved with his compliments, but seems to have eyes only for you?

The truth is, no one wants to end up with someone who is just settling. Instead, you want to feel desired.

Men are no different. But what makes men feel desired is very different from what makes women feel desired.

For example, research shows men often confuse love and respect. A man does not want to be loved by a romantic partner unless she also holds him in high regard compared with other men.

Otherwise, it just feels like motherly love. That’s not what he wants. It’s not how he wants to perceive himself in his primary relationship.

And that’s why…

Women often send mixed signals to the guy they’re interested in without even knowing it.

It happens accidentally. And I have to tell you, it’s not your fault.

Society has changed too fast for men and women to adapt to the rapid changes. We are left scrambling.

In nearly every culture there used to be a clear set of expectations. Those expectations guided men and women through the process of connecting with a lifelong partner.

Demonstrations of mutual admiration were built into the process of courtship.

But those clear expectations are a thing of the past. These days, each couple has to invent their own path, dancing around unspoken expectations and feelings of uncertainty.

And there’s something that often gets lost in our modern version of courtship.

I’m talking about the ancient art of communicating desire through the language of admiration. It’s where the phrase, “You have an admirer” came from.

He doesn’t want you to settle.

He wants to feel like you see him as the ultimate catch.

Otherwise, it deflates his ego. And with it, his passion for the relationship deflates too.

He just can’t picture himself with a woman who looks up to other men more than she looks up to him.

But this is where things get confusing.

Many women want to make their man feel loved.

But a woman’s idea of loving communication is very different than a man’s.

How do you communicate your true feelings to a man? And why are men so sensitive to tiny signals about where you rank him compared with other men?

To dive a little deeper into that particular question, I put together a video presentation on the topic.

It explains the most powerful signals you can use to grab a man’s attention.

After watching this video, many women are surprised to learn how much control they have over a man’s self-esteem.

And even more surprised by how easy it is to make someone cherish you and want to invest in the relationship.

Many of us have a tendency to buy gifts of the sort we would like to receive ourselves. It can be like that with love. We try to love our partner the way we want to be loved.

So you make him feel special. Yet he seems unaffected by that. You speak your own native love language to him. Apparently, he speaks another.

But I’m here to tell you about one incredible, universal method you can use to grab his attention by showing that you get what he craves most.

Click here now to discover an unfair advantage with men. Help him to finally see you as the one.

References for this article

The post Make Him Want You: How To Make Him Fall In Love With You Faster appeared first on LoveControl.

The guy with the gorgeous floppy hair, quirky smile, and big heart devoted entirely to one person and one person only:

His girlfriend.

You’re so glad she found him, but honestly?

You are so insanely jealous. It’s hard to stop watching them. The way he’s so attentive to her needs. The way they seem to share thoughts without speaking. The way he wraps his arms around her so tightly it’s like they’re one body. Watching them makes you ache. Because the guy at your side doesn’t treat you like that.

It’s not that your guy isn’t wonderful. Of course he’s wonderful. It’s more…

How he treats you. He treats you like someone he’s gotten used to.

You know he doesn’t wake up in the morning pinching himself for being lucky enough to snag someone like you.

But you bet that’s what this other guy does. You can see it in his eyes.

The pleasure that radiates from his smile every time he looks at the woman he loves.

So you ask her—half-joking, half-hoping—if he has any brothers. She just laughs.

“Nah, that’s not what you need.” She leans towards you and glances around to make sure no one’s listening. “Want to hear a secret?”

You nod eagerly.

She whispers, “Our relationship was just like everyone else’s before. But then I found out about this crazy secret. It’s from this relationship coach named James Bauer. It’s, like, the key to unlocking men.”

You nod even more vigorously, but she’s stopped talking. You follow her gaze across the room. Her boyfriend is holding up a drink, asking her wordlessly if she wants one. She shakes her head, blows him a kiss, and turns back to you. “So, do you want to know what it is?”

“Yeah!” you say. “If it will help me and my guy read each other’s minds, like you two just did.”

“Okay, then listen closely…”

Women across the world make one universal mistake with men.

It’s not their fault. They’re just following common wisdom. Common wisdom says that men only fall for exceptional women. (Exceptional bodies, mainly.)

If you see a woman with a man trailing behind her like a puppy dog, common wisdom says you can be sure she has something you don’t.

It’s such an obvious explanation and yet…

It’s dead wrong.

That woman?

She’s no more exceptional than you. (Whatever THAT means.)

But what she does have is a very special understanding of men.

She understands that what matters most is NOT what he sees when he looks at her…

But how he sees himself reflected in her eyes.

The truth is this:

Men fall for women because of how those women make them feel.

When a man feels like a hero in a woman’s eyes, he swears his undying loyalty to her.

He can’t help it.

Most women don’t have that effect on him.

When he’s around most women, he feels like a dumb guy. Like he’s always doing something wrong. Like he needs a nanny to look after him.

He can count on one hand the number of women who look up to him. Who really, really respect him.

And he’s always going to have a place in his life for those women.

So, how do you make a man feel like a hero?

It sounds kind of silly.

Do you have to engineer some kind of scenario where he has to save kids from a burning house or a little old lady from getting hit by a car?

No. It’s a lot simpler than that.

To make your man feel like a hero, there’s one easy thing you can do starting right now:

You can thank him warmly for every single thing he does for you.

Did he offer to get you a drink?

Thank him.

Did he clear the dishes off the table?

Thank him.

Did he drive you to a meeting?

Thank him.

He’s a hero to you every day, even though you may not see it like that.

Has your man “rescued you”—metaphorically speaking—any time in the last week?

Maybe he dropped everything to help you. Maybe he was there when you needed a sounding board. Maybe his advice helped you make a difficult decision.

We tend to take those things for granted. We expect it. It numbs us to the actual miracle of having someone to rely on.

But the more you appreciate him…

The more he appreciates YOU.

Now, that’s not how most people think.

Most women think they can earn a man’s appreciation by doing lots of things for him.

They’ve got it backwards.

The best way to earn a man’s appreciation is to appreciate everything he does for you, no matter how little.

It triggers his “Hero Instinct.”

(You can learn more about the Hero Instinct in James’ video here.)

For now, just know that the key to unlocking his undying devotion is NOT in everything you do for him…

But in how you respond to everything he does for you.

Did he just wrap his arms around you?

Give a little wiggle of contentment.

Did he agree to watch the program you wanted to see on TV?

Give him an appreciative kiss.

Reward the little things he does, and you’ll find your man striving more and more to please you.

He’s your hero.

And that’s what heroes do.

But that’s just the beginning.

There’s so much more you can do to trigger his hero instinct.

There are phrases you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can use to trigger his hero instinct 100 times more powerfully than just saying thanks.

And because no man can resist a woman who makes him feel like a hero, it’s worth learning a few of these emotional trigger points.

Want to take your relationship skills to the next level with men? Then learn more about how you can master this powerful technique (from the man who invented it) in this short video.

References for this article

The post The 1 Easy Idea You Can Use Today…To Unlock His Undying Devotion appeared first on LoveControl.

Maybe you’ve even had feelings for someone you’d rather not be attracted to. Why does this happen?

How can you fall in love even though your conscious mind resists it?

Experiences like these hint at the hidden world driving our feelings of romantic attraction. That hidden world is all about emotional reactions. Emotional reactions we don’t consciously control.

The truth is, falling in love is not something we choose to do. It’s more like getting thirsty. You don’t choose to get thirsty. You just notice it. And the stronger your thirst becomes, the harder it gets to ignore.

What if I told you there is a kind of relationship “thirst” all men experience? A kind of thirst that’s impossible for him to quench on his own. Would you like to know what he’s so thirsty for?

To skip straight to the answer, check out this video.

that reveals how you can trigger his thirst for something he needs and craves. Plus, I’ll show you how to ensure you are the ONLY person he depends on to satisfy this powerful longing.

Here’s why the man in your life can’t tell you what he craves most from his relationship with you…

… He’s embarrassed to admit the truth. And that’s because admitting to this desire actually moves him farther away from the goal.Here’s why…

Okay, picture a woman who feels frustrated that her man never does anything romantic. She finally breaks down and explains her desire to feel romanced and pursued by him.

But he acts like she’s being unreasonable, demanding she name one thing that’s missing from the relationship. So she gives him an example. “It would be nice to get flowers once in a while. Just simple things like that.”

The next day, he brings her flowers. But the magic of this gesture is missing. Because it doesn’t feel special to receive flowers when you had to ask for them.

It’s kind of like that with men, only with a completely different sort of relationship need. You see, men have an insatiable thirst for your admiration.

But he can’t ask for it. He can’t say, “Julie, I really like you, but here’s what’s missing in our relationship. You don’t admire me enough. You seem to have greater admiration for other men in your life, and that makes it hard for me to picture a future with you.”

He can’t say that because men believe you have to earn admiration. Asking for it is like trying to become popular by announcing you are a cool person. It doesn’t work like that.

He will only feel like your hero when you speak the non-verbal language of admiration. He has to read it between the lines of what you actually say and do.

Now, you might be thinking, “That’s not so crazy. I can understand why a man craves admiration.” But if you’re thinking that, there’s something important I need to tell you.

It’s not just that men crave admiration. It’s that he can’t sustain that “in love” feeling without it.

Nothing kills a man’s attraction faster than a relationship where he doesn’t feel needed. He wants to see himself as a provider. Someone who is admired because of his ability to provide.

You see, if he doesn’t feel needed, he feels like less of a man; emasculated. And that turns off his romantic drive.

And the worst part? You can’t just give him admiration. It only works if he believes he has earned your trust, admiration, and respect.

But here’s the good news. It’s both fun and easy to let him earn your admiration once you know how to set him up for success.

Just find ways to let him be your hero. Now, I should mention there is actually an art to doing that in a way that makes him crazy about you.

But I’ve seen women wrap a man around her pinky using this simple concept. As a relationship coach, I have seen what works and what doesn’t. But what it all comes down to is this…

You need to trigger his hero instinct.

Accomplish that, and you’ll be astonished by what happens next. He’ll become so loving, so attentive, so much more interested in a committed, long-term relationship, that you will never want things to go back to the way they were.

The hero instinct is a subconscious drive to gravitate toward people who make him feel like a hero. But it’s amplified in his romantic relationships.

Some ideas really are life-changing. And for romantic relationships, this is one of them. That’s why I’ve created an online video presentation so you can claim this secret as your own.

Because triggering his hero instinct is one thing. Learning how to do it over and over again requires a few tips and tricks.

The fact is, women don’t need someone to rescue them. Especially in this day and age. Yet here’s the ironic truth…

Men do still need someone to rescue. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a provider.

This one tiny difference in male and female genetics creates a BIG difference in what attracts men to the opposite sex. He feels drawn to any woman who allows him to step into the role of a hero. Because his instincts naturally cause him to thirst for that social role.

Here’s the really cool thing about this. He won’t even know why he feels so drawn to you. Which is why you can use this method under the radar. It triggers attraction at a subconscious level.

He’ll feel the undeniable tug on his emotions. But if his buddy asks him why he’s so crazy about you, he won’t be able to put it into words.

There is a hidden world driving our feelings of attraction. No doubt about it. But we now have the power to see one powerful part of that hidden world. And it’s something you can actually control.

It’s not something only chemists can see, like blood levels of the bonding hormone, oxytocin. Rather, it’s something you can see all around you once you learn to spot it.

It’s a pattern of interaction between men and women. Something relationship experts have always known to exist, but something they failed to recognize as the powerful trigger it is. A trigger that drives his thirst for companionship.

How do you use this trigger to build passion and romance?

Well, the easiest way to trigger his hero instinct is to translate your desires into a language that speaks to his natural drive to be a provider. His desire to serve, love, and protect. The desire to be someone’s hero.

If that sounds like fun to you, click here to learn more about this relationship enhancement tool. It’s something you can learn once, but then use for the rest of your life.

You already have needs and desires. Why not learn how to translate those desires into requests that trigger his hero instinct?

Then relax into the warmth and passion he is only capable of showing once a woman has triggered his hero instinct. A woman who knows exactly how to satisfy his thirst.

References for this article

The post The Strangest Thing Men Desire. (And how it can make him crazy for you.) appeared first on LoveControl.